Regina's Blog
This is a blog about relationships, and it covers dating, marriage, parenting, modern family dynamics and divorce as seen from the very personal perspective of a divorced divorce lawyer.
Mastering Your Financial Life with Judy Heft and Regina DeMeo
In this episode of Mastering Your Financial Life, Judy Heft interviews Regina DeMeo, matrimonial attorney and Founder of the Law Office of Regina A DeMeo.
My Happiness Project in 2022
This year started with a high potential for profound personal disappointment, despite immense professional success. What my inner circle understood was that I was facing a milestone birthday during a pandemic, as a single mom without family close by and a teenager that showed zero interest in launching after his high school graduation. I quickly realized that the only way to get through this year was to give myself a challenge: within 9 months, I must do 50 nice things for myself before turning 50 this fall.My happiness project began in January with some home improvement projects, including rearranging all the furniture in my bedroom once my new bed and mattress arrived. I purged a ton of junk and eliminated my storage unit, then once my son moved in full-time with his father, I converted his room into my study. During the winter, I also treated myself to two meal-prep services that got me through those cold months in hibernation with limited supplies at the stores. Mid-February, I put together a Galentine's Day brunch with friends which was a blast. On Valentine's Day, I made sure to get my favorite flowers and splurge on personalized golf balls along with some nice new outfits for this golf season. Then in the spring, I took a vacation and went to golf school for a few days. Later, I invested in new clubs and based on various recommendations, I started researching and booking nice clubs I wanted to play this year. As word spread about my happiness project, my friends came up with their own ideas of how they could help me celebrate this milestone year. Together, we have played some beautiful courses this season, and attended a few professional tournaments including KPMG at Congressional and Wells Fargo at TPC. With friends that don't golf, I went to New York City for a weekend in May to do some shopping and see a new show, then all summer we've been enjoying outings to the movies, some great hikes, wine tastings and various local concerts, including Yacht Rock and Barenaked Ladies at Wolftrap. My images on Facebook and Instagram during this milestone year probably make me seem like a fairytale princess living her best life, and while I am indeed trying my best to do so, the reality is that it's been far from easy. The trials and tribulations of real-life demands, particularly [...]
Compelling Conversation with Regina DeMeo
Today on the show, Dr. Summer Watson welcomes Regina DeMeo! Regina is a resident of the Washington DC area, is an alumna of Georgetown University and the George Washington University Law School. She’s been helping families in the DC Area for over 20 years
Celebrating Father’s Day, Embrace The Simple Pleasures
Father's Day is this weekend, and most guys I know don't need or want a big celebration to acknowledge the day. All they really want is the freedom to relax either by the pool while enjoying a good book and some good food, or having the ability to go for a long run/hike/bike ride, play tennis or golf, go fishing, sailing or kayaking, or just stay home and watch their favorite sports. The main theme is they don't want to be burdened with any chores or a lot of fuss, and presents are not particularly important because being unencumbered for the day is the real gift.I'm not sure why more moms don't steal a page from the dads' playbook. For the longest time, I tried to find the perfect gift and make the perfect plans for either my own father, my father-in-law, or my son's father, even after our divorce. But eventually, I stopped-- not because I no longer cared, but simply because I realized that for them the real reward was being acknowledged for their efforts as fathers and being permitted to enjoy a low-key day. 21st century dads are a whole new breed. Unlike their fathers that mostly focused on providing financially for their families, these guys have to be there emotionally, share in household responsibilities and take more time off work than any other prior generation to be present for their kids' activities. To do all this without a real role model isn't easy, but I've found that most aren't just stepping up to meet today's expectations, they are going out of their way to exceed them for no other reason than just love, often without sufficient acknowledgment in my opinion. For over two decades now as a divorce attorney, I have had the incredible experience of working with dedicated fathers, who all want to be an integral part of their children's lives. Not once has a father abandoned his children under my watch, and seeing the love and commitment these dads show their kids has warmed my heart and given me an incredible sense of purpose all these years. Now, my divorce clients that are single dads do have a little bit more of a challenge than those in an intact family, mainly because on Father's Day they are usually 100% responsible for their kids, so they don't necessarily have the ability to just relax [...]
A Top Divorce Attorney in Washington, DC and Legal Commentator for Sirius XM – Regina DeMeo
Today on the show, Dr. Summer Watson welcomes Regina DeMeo! Regina is a resident of the Washington DC area, is an alumna of Georgetown University and the George Washington University Law School. She’s been helping families in the DC Area for over 20 years
How Cheaters Get Busted
Some people are just asking to get caught-- they leave their phones unlocked, emails open on a shared computer, don't delete their text or voice messages, use a credit card for expenses that should have been paid for in cash, or fail to create an iron-clad alibi and cover their tracks while carrying on an affair. While some may just be stupid or sloppy, I actually think a fair amount subconsciously want to get caught in order to finally force a difficult conversation-- either the person betrayed will end the relationship or s/he will acknowledge there are issues the couple needs to work through, but either way the status quo will inevitably have to change. Delving into affairs is an integral part of my job, where cheating is a factor in about 50% of all divorces I handle. Half the time, I represent the cheater, the other half the time my client is the one betrayed. The stories no longer shock me, but what really amazes me is how the opportunities for a tryst have grown exponentially over the past two decades thanks to modern technology, dating apps and social media. The temptation for someone that is unhappy at home to find an escape from that reality is now literally everywhere and anywhere. Technology of course is a double-edge sword, because it's also made it substantially easier to get busted. Back in the days when I was a baby lawyer, most clients had to hire a private investigator to tail their spouse once they began to observe subtle changes in their behaviors and patterns. This used to be very expensive, until tiny and cheap GPS tracking devices came into existence, and now anyone can be their own detective by tracking their partner on a personal device or with an Apple Air Tag for under $30. It is rarely one dead give-away that exposes an affair, but rather a culmination of events that force the betrayed party to face the truth, as much as they would like to deny it. And this is when things get really interesting because while some adulterers feel incredibly guilty and remorseful, others actually become quite belligerent and blame the other spouse for pushing them to the point of straying after years of feeling unwanted and abandoned. One thing is for certain, there is no "get out of jail free" card here. Those that choose [...]
Tips For Self-Care When Parenting Teenagers
The sacrifices we make as parents are impossible to quantify, but usually there is an immense emotional reward for all the efforts we make for our children, who give us purpose, a sense of belonging and love-- at least until those teenage years hit.Honestly, the past four years while my son was in high school, it has been my family and friends that have kept me sane. Unlike ever before it seemed none of my efforts were appreciated. It was as if I didn't matter, and I felt like a second-class citizen in his presence. None of my advice seemed to matter, and certainly my feelings were rarely if ever considered in his daily choices. If I didn't find a positive outlet, this situation would have taken a serious toll on me.Luckily, I have good friends with children of the same age, and together we would commiserate. There is a line from The Adam Project that sums up the situation perfectly, "teenagers are the assassins of joy." But when you start feeling this way, I urge you to go find your own happiness.The past few years, I have found my own joy in the work that I do as an attorney with families, teaching students and young lawyers, while also being on the Board of a non-profit for women business owners. I've made sure even during COVID to visit family and friends, and stay engaged in activities that I enjoy, including golf, which allows me to unplug for 5 hours and disconnect from everything.As my son went in one direction, I went in another, and my mantra became Radical Acceptance. To survive, I had to accept that I could not control his choices, only my reactions. Ultimately the toughest life lesson we have to teach our children is that we cannot always rescue them and let them suffer the consequences of their own actions.We can still love our children from a far, and hope that they will reach out for guidance when needed, but there comes a point where we do need to let them adult and figure out life on their own. I've known this day was coming for quite some time, and as a result I admit I laid the groundwork early on to transition gracefully to my empty-nester status. The key is to make sure that when your child launches (willingly or not) you have your [...]
Celebrating Mother’s Day, Your Own Way
In May 1998, I graduated from GW Law School in Washington, DC and that was probably the best Mother's Day gift I ever could have given my mother, who emigrated from Ecuador to New York City after high school with big dreams for a better life here in America. She brought her mother over years later, and together those two women raised me to believe that anything was possible here. Five years after law school, I became a mother while working as an associate at a posh downtown law firm. Little did I realize how much my life would change once my son was born. When I returned from maternity leave (there was no set firm policy about this at the time) I tried to negotiate a flexible schedule, which was met with substantial resistance even though I had initially been told we would be able to discuss this once I settled into my new routine. The interactions with my boss changed, as did my assignments, and after a year of feeling dismissed and under-utilized, I left to start my own law firm. The decision to start my own company less than two (2) years after having a child was not an easy one, but the reality was that I didn't have faith that any of the other firms that I would be interested in would be willing to work with me on a schedule and compensation package that I felt I deserved after working on several complex, high-profile cases and being listed in the Washingtonian's Top Divorce lawyers. A year after opening my own family law practice, I got divorced, which definitely made the decision to remain self-employed as a single mother a whole lot scarier, but not as scary as the thought of being miserable working for someone else and losing my autonomy. Failure was simply not an option, and in many ways this is what fueled my ability to be creative in the brand I wanted to establish and how I marketed the firm as an early adapter to social media. While most law firms a decade ago (and some to this day) are very conservative in their use of social media, I decided long ago to put it all out there. The blogs I write and interviews I give for radio, tv, podcasts or magazines are all very personal, and real. It's not a secret [...]
The Importance of Title IX, 50 Years Later
In June 1972, Congress enacted Title IX which required educational programs receiving federal assistance to ensure women were given equal access to sports. Later that same year I was born, so I am truly a Title IX baby, who fell in love with sports at an early age. For my mother and grandmother, who raised me, it was a good way for me to channel all my energy, while also ensuring that I was engaged in safe activities after school. For me, it was a complete game-changer that has impacted every aspect of my life. By age 11, when I began competing in rhythmic gymnastics I firmly believed that anything was possible and that I was in every respect equal to my male peers at school. Despite my modest upbringing I had very clear and ambitious life goals, and sports taught me the importance of setting goals, developing a plan, and savoring each and every win as it happens. But in order to continue with my gymnastic endeavors, my mother made it clear that I could not allow my academic performance to suffer. As a result, I became super disciplined and organized at an early age. In order to get in 3 hours of training a day and longer on weekends that were not spent in competitions, I had to make school work a priority on my free time, which resulted in having very little down time but I didn't care. Athletes are trained for endurance, which is fueled by our passion and desire to excel. But I always knew that my gymnastics would have an early end date (most age out by 21), and my longer- term goal was to be a well-respected attorney in a large city. When my academic pressures began to conflict with gymnastics, I made the difficult decision to retire as an Elite Class I Rhythmic Gymnast at the end of my freshman year at Georgetown. From that point forward, I mainly focused on launching my legal career, but I never gave up being physically active. For me, it's a necessary part of remaining sane, and coping with life. The importance of sports in a child's life cannot be overstated. Everything I have managed to accomplish as an adult the past two decades living in the DC Area as a mother, full-time lawyer, business owner, media expert, former adjunct professor, and published author I [...]
4 Easy Steps To Gaining Financial Literacy
April is Financial Literacy month, and in that vein I will be the guest speaker on two upcoming podcasts- one is focused on business owners and the other seeks to educate and empower women. 23 years ago, when I started practicing family law, if you told me I would be presenting on financial literacy I would have thought you were nuts. After being a student for two decades, all I had was over $100,000 of student debt with an undergraduate degree in diplomacy and a J.D., both of which were nicely framed and displayed in my Washington, DC office. Thankfully, over the past two decades that investment in my education has largely paid off, despite multiple life setbacks, and in addition to what I experienced in my own financial journey, I have had to weather hundreds of other storms as my divorce clients grapple with creating new monthly budgets and reassessing their financial investments as part of their divorce. In the process, I found there are a ton of resources out there available to people of any age that need help with establishing a budget and understanding the financial options out there. Take it in baby steps. Step One: Get Educated and Organized Educate yourself as to what your total household income is and how much you are actually spending vs. saving. Tax season forces all of us to reckon with our numbers, and once you have all this information readily available take some time to really analyze what your cash flow situation looks like. Ideally, the rule of thumb is 50% of your net income (after taxes) goes to needs (such as housing and food), 30% to wants (such as travel and entertainment) and 20% should be for savings (not just retirement because you need liquid assets in the event of an emergency). If this is all overwhelming, invest in a financial literacy class or a financial coach who can help guide you. Step Two: Establish a Monthly Budget There are plenty of free forms available to help you lay out your monthly expenses, including housing, food, clothing, medical care, insurance, student debt, transportation, travel and entertainment. Don't forget to set aside some amount for a rainy day fund. Whatever your net monthly expenses are, make sure that they do not exceed your net monthly income. Remember this is basic math, not creative writing so if you are [...]