Regina's Blog
This is a blog about relationships, and it covers dating, marriage, parenting, modern family dynamics and divorce as seen from the very personal perspective of a divorced divorce lawyer.
Why Is A Cohabitation Agreement So Important?
Although 46% of adults in the U.S. are single these days, that does not mean they are living alone. A lot of people live with their romantic partners, and yet they fail to have an agreement that outlines their rights and obligations with respect to their finances if they separate or someone dies. A simple cohabitation agreement outlines what they each need to contribute while together and what happens in the event of a break-up, or death of either party. Here are 12 key questions to ponder: (1) How much will you each contribute to the household expenses while together? (2) If you are both renting a place together, who moves out if things don't work out? (3) If you own a place together, how much time do you have to agree on the terms of a buyout before the home needs to be listed for sale? (4) Who remains responsible for the lease/mortgage? (5) Who gets to keep the security deposit/escrow funds? (6) What happens to any joint bank or credit card accounts? (7) Which furniture/household items remain with each party? (8) How much written notice needs to be given to the other person before the process of unraveling ties begins? (9) Do you need an explicit provision regarding confidentiality if you work from home? (10) Would you like for all social media posts together be taken down within a reasonable timeframe without anyone making any disparaging remarks about the other? (11) In the event of either party's death while still happily living together, do you need to provide a certain amount of life insurance or name your partner as the beneficiary in your will or retirement accounts? (12) If you can't agree on the implementation of your contract, wouldn't you want to add a requirement to mediate/arbitrate before anyone files in court? All of these questions, can be easily addressed in a straightforward agreement that you both execute before any problems arise, and maybe they never will. But lots of partnerships unravel, just like half of all marriages will end. Better to be safe than sorry, and negotiate a conscious uncoupling upfront. I'm not saying it won't be emotionally messy-- there is nothing anyone can do to prevent that, but we can minimize the legal and financial implications when you need to part ways. By Regina A. DeMeo
Do You Need To Split Before The Holidays?
The holidays are right around the corner, and by now you are either excited to spend them with your partner or you are dreading it. If it is the latter, don't ignore the signs of discontent or distress, which often manifest themselves in the form of procrastination either with making any plans or buying gifts, as this will only make the situation worse. Instead, try to be honest (at the very least with yourself) and figure out either a coping strategy or an exit plan. Many people break up around the holidays because inevitably as the end of year approaches we start to look back at what we have accomplished and what we want for the year ahead. During this time of reflection, it's hard to avoid certain painful truths, especially with respect to our intimate relationships. The ultimate question is this: do you see a future together? If the answer is a clear no, then it's time to call it quits. Although in business dealings we all know to hire slow and fire fast, in our personal lives we tend to drag our feet far longer than we should before we cut ties. Some of this definitely has to do with our hope that we can rekindle that spark we once felt in the beginning of the relationship. That honeymoon phase is intoxicating for sure, but over time, the infatuation phase subsides and you start to see the other person for who they really are, and as you collect more data points you either feel like the luckiest person on Earth when you are with your partner or enough bad incidents have caused significant doubt that this relationship can progress any further. No matter how much time/energy/money you have invested in the past together, you cannot fall for the sunken cost fallacy. We all need to know when to stop investing in a losing cause. The most common reasons people will bail include (1) their partner never seems happy, (2) they refuse to stop drinking or get counseling, (3) they've grown tired of babysitting a man-child or princess, (4) there is no longer any trust or respect between them; (5) they dislike the person they have become and (6) they no longer feel the couple belongs together. Any one of these is just cause to call it quits-- sooner rather than later. When in doubt, here are a [...]
Tips for Recognizing 4 Main Types of Domestic Abuse
As we wrap up Domestic Violence Awareness month, I hope the key take-away is that we all need to be vigilant year-round to this profound problem that impacts about 1/3 of women and 25% of men in intimate relationships. The abuse rarely starts right away. In fact, there is usually a very romantic honeymoon period that lures people into the relationship. Yet ever so slowly, things start to change. It can start with little digs that are played off as a joke, or small embarrassing stories shared with others that appear to be in jest. Over time, the slights escalate, and either a person starts to doubt his/her self-worth or grows to resent the other, maybe a bit of both. Arguments can easily escalate, especially when alcohol is involved, and even without raising a finger certain words can cut deeper than a knife. Apologies the next day grow old when the same repetitive behavior persists without any effort to change. The cycle of violence can go on for a while, until one day someone finally accepts this one fundamental truth: love should not hurt. Over the past two decades, I have worked with countless survivors of abuse. Those that manage to escape these situations do not succeed on their own-- they rely on the help of either family, friends, neighbors, therapists, neighbors, the police, an attorney, or some other trusted individual that can lend a sympathetic ear and provide sage advice. If you see someone in need, do whatever you can to connect them with the appropriate resources to develop an escape plan. Here are the 4 most common scenarios my clients have encountered from their partners: Physical abuse- this often starts as an accident- someone held on a little too hard, swung unintentionally, or pushed a little too hard, and yet these mishaps keep happening. Many fail to documents the injuries, or have any witnesses, a police reports or medical records that can verify their allegations. There is also a lot of shame around this situation, and it's important to change the narrative immediately. The abuser is the only one who should feel any shame, and the person finally leaving the abuser should be celebrated for finding the courage to leave the toxic situation. Ultimately, what they wish to do with the evidence of abuse varies a lot. Some want to file for a Civil Protective Order, some [...]
The Benefits of Hiring a Prenuptial Agreement Attorney: Why You Need One for Your Prenup
Planning a wedding is an exciting and blissful time, but amidst the joyous chaos, it's important not to overlook the practical side of things. That's where a prenuptial agreement attorney can come to the rescue. A prenup may not be the most romantic aspect of marriage, but it can save couples from potential legal headaches down the line—especially when you consider that the statistics show that about 50% of first marriages and 75% of second marriages will end in divorce. Everyone hopes to beat these odds, but we need to be safe here not sorry later down the road. What is a prenuptial agreement? A prenuptial agreement, commonly referred to as a prenup, is a legal contract that couples enter into before getting married or entering a civil partnership. It outlines how their assets, debts, and other financial matters will be divided in the event of a divorce or separation. While it may not be the most romantic topic to discuss, a prenup can provide clarity and protection for both parties involved. A prenuptial agreement covers a wide range of issues, including the division of property, spousal support, and the handling of debts. It can also address other matters such as the protection of family heirlooms or the safeguarding of independent business interests. By clearly outlining each party's rights and responsibilities, a prenup can help avoid lengthy and costly legal battles in the future. Understanding the importance of a prenuptial agreement attorney When it comes to drafting a prenuptial agreement, it's crucial to have the guidance of a knowledgeable and experienced attorney. A prenuptial agreement attorney specializes in family law and understands the complexities of creating a legally binding contract that protects the interests of both parties. While some couples may consider using online templates or attempting to draft their own prenup, it's important to remember that these documents are subject to state laws and regulations. A prenuptial agreement attorney can ensure that your prenup is tailored to your specific needs and complies with all legal requirements. Additionally, an attorney can provide valuable advice and guidance on issues you may not have considered. They can help you navigate the emotional aspects of discussing financial matters and ensure that both parties are treated fairly throughout the process. Benefits of hiring a prenuptial agreement attorney 1. Expertise in family law One of the key benefits of hiring a prenuptial agreement attorney is [...]
New Grounds For Divorce In Maryland: What You Need to Know
As of October 1, 2023, the process of obtaining a divorce in Maryland has become far less complicated, thanks to a new legislation that eliminates fault-grounds for divorce. Maryland is now a no-fault state, which now allows couples to file either on the basis of a six month separation (which can be under the same roof), Mutual Consent (if you have a signed agreement) or irreconcilable differences. This transformation is likely to have profound implications for couples considering divorce in the state. Understanding Divorce in Maryland In Maryland, as in any other state, the process of divorce is a legal procedure that formally ends a marriage. Until now, Maryland's divorce laws recognized two types of divorce: limited and absolute. However, with the new legislation, the state has abolished the concept of a limited divorce, which was essentially a legal separation, now leaving only the absolute divorce. A limited divorce was a court-sanctioned separation period where couples lived apart but remained legally married. On the other hand, an absolute divorce legally terminates a marriage, severs their financial assets and allows either party to remarry. Redefining Grounds for Divorce Maryland has eliminated the need for a waiting period or physical separation in different residences, which were difficult burdens for some families to bear particularly during challenging financial times. Under the new law, the grounds for divorce will include: A 6-month separation, even if the couple continues to reside under the same roof. This is a notable change from the previous requirement of a 12-month separation. Irreconcilable differences, based on reasons provided by the complainant for the permanent termination of the marriage. Furthermore, the concept of "mutual consent" will remain as a ground for divorce. This implies that couples who have a signed written settlement agreement resolving all issues related to alimony, distribution of property, custody, and child support can opt for divorce. A New Dawn for Divorce The revolutionary aspect of Maryland's new divorce laws is the elimination of fault-based grounds. Previously, the majority of the grounds for absolute divorce in Maryland were fault-based, which included adultery, desertion, conviction of a felony or misdemeanor, insanity, cruelty of treatment, or excessively vicious conduct. This does not necessarily mean that fault will no longer be a factor in divorce proceedings. The court will still consider the circumstances leading to the couple's estrangement in determining alimony and the equitable distribution of marital property. The Impact [...]
Big Changes in Family Law for Maryland Couples!
As of October 1, 2023 Maryland will no longer have fault grounds for divorce. Instead we will only have these 3 grounds for divorce: (1) Mutual Consent; (2) Irreconcilable Differences; or (3) a 6 month separation, which may be under the same roof. This will hopefully streamline the process and reduce the amount of conflict between couples looking to divorce, who are essentially are being directed to just focus on how to execute the separation and not the why. The filing process itself has also become much easier, as we now file everything online and since 2020 all of my scheduling conferences and uncontested hearings in Maryland have been via Zoom. Aside from experiencing a far more efficient court process, there is a significant cost savings to the clients. Given that in person meetings are rarely necessary anymore, I have also enjoyed reaching clients from a far greater range throughout Maryland and DC than ever before. Personally, I believe these changes were all long overdue. While I have found it incredibly interesting to work with families in transition the past 25 years, watching them struggle to navigate the challenges of the court process has been difficult. I have always felt the more we can do to lighten their load, the better. Now my job in helping them get to the finish line is becoming far easier, and for this I am eternally grateful. By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.
Postnuptial Agreement: Did You Fail to Plan Ahead Before Your Wedding?
Are you finding yourself facing unexpected financial and/or emotional turmoil after your dream wedding? Did you fail to plan ahead for the possibility of a divorce? If so, you're not alone. Many couples neglect to consider the potential consequences of a failed marriage, assuming that love will conquer all. However, it's important to be prepared for any outcome, and that's where a postnuptial agreement can come into play. A postnuptial agreement is a legal document that outlines the division of marital assets and responsibilities in the unfortunate event of a divorce. It allows couples to protect themselves and their assets, ensuring a fair and equitable outcome. While a postnuptial agreement may not be the most romantic topic, it's a practical and responsible step that can provide peace of mind for both parties. By planning ahead with a postnuptial agreement, you can alleviate stress and uncertainty, allowing you to focus on building a strong and loving marriage. So, if you failed to plan ahead before your wedding, it's never too late to protect yourself and your future. Don't let the fear of the unknown hold you back—take charge and secure your financial and emotional well-being with a postnuptial agreement. What is a postnuptial agreement? A postnuptial agreement, also known as a post-marital agreement, is a legal contract entered into by a married couple after they tie the knot. It specifies how their assets, debts, and other obligations will be divided in the event of a divorce, separation, or death. This agreement allows couples to establish guidelines for their financial and personal affairs, providing clarity and protection should their marriage end. Postnuptial agreements can cover various aspects, including property division and alimony/ spousal support Couples can redefine what will be considered separate vs. joint property, and set limits on alimony. The terms outlined in the agreement can be customized to fit the specific needs and circumstances of the couple, ensuring a fair and amicable resolution in case of a marital breakdown. The importance of planning ahead before your wedding While it may be tempting to focus solely on the joy and excitement of planning your wedding, it's crucial to also consider the practical aspects of your future together. Planning ahead with a postnuptial agreement can help safeguard your financial well-being and protect your interests, should the unforeseen happen. One of the main advantages of a postnuptial agreement is that it allows [...]
What is Collaborative Divorce and Do You Need a Lawyer?
Divorce is never easy, and it can be a long and painful process. However, there is a relatively new method of divorce that has been gaining popularity in recent years: collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is a voluntary process in which both parties work together with their respective attorneys and other professionals to reach a settlement agreement that is fair and beneficial for everyone. It is different from traditional divorce in that it aims to reduce conflict and promote cooperation between parties. But do you need a lawyer for collaborative divorce? In this article, we'll explore the benefits of collaborative divorce and why having a lawyer is essential. The differences between collaborative divorce and traditional divorce Collaborative divorce is a method of divorce that is very different from traditional divorce. In traditional divorce, each party hires their own attorney, and they often go to court to settle their differences. This can be a long, drawn-out process that can be very expensive and emotionally draining for all involved. Collaborative divorce, on the other hand, involves both parties working together with their respective attorneys to come to an agreement outside of court. This process is typically much faster and less expensive than traditional divorce, and it can be much less stressful for everyone involved. Another difference between collaborative divorce and traditional divorce is the level of conflict involved. In traditional divorce, each party hires his/her own experts and is typically trying to get as much as they can out of the settlement, which can lead to a great deal of conflict and animosity between the parties. In collaborative divorce, both parties hire joint experts and working together to come to an agreement that is fair and beneficial for everyone involved. This approach can help reduce conflict and promote cooperation, which can be very beneficial for children and other family members involved in the divorce. The benefits of collaborative divorce There are many benefits to collaborative divorce, including the fact that it can be much faster and less expensive than a litigated divorce. In addition, collaborative divorce can be much less stressful for everyone involved, as it promotes cooperation rather than conflict. This can be very beneficial for children and other family members involved in the divorce, as they may be less likely to experience the emotional turmoil that often accompanies traditional divorce. Another benefit of collaborative divorce is that it allows both parties [...]
Getting A Divorce in Montgomery County MD: The Role of a Divorce Lawyer
Divorce is a difficult decision that can have a significant impact on your life. If you're considering ending your marriage you may be wondering about the role of a divorce lawyer. A divorce lawyer is a legal professional who specializes in handling divorce cases and can provide you with invaluable guidance and support during this challenging time. They can help you navigate the complex legal system, protect your rights, and ensure that you receive a fair settlement. In this article, we'll explore the role of a divorce lawyer in Montgomery County, MD, and how they can assist you in getting a divorce. Whether you're facing a contested or uncontested divorce, having a skilled and knowledgeable divorce lawyer by your side can make all the difference. So, let's dive in and learn more about how they can help you through this difficult journey. The Role of a Divorce Lawyer A divorce lawyer plays a critical role in helping you navigate the legal process of ending your marriage. They can provide you with valuable advice and support, ensuring that your rights are protected throughout the process. A divorce lawyer can also help you understand the legal requirements for getting a divorce in Montgomery County, MD, and ensure that you follow the necessary steps to complete the process. One of the most important roles of a divorce lawyer is to help you negotiate a fair settlement. This includes dividing marital assets, determining spousal support, and establishing child custody and support arrangements if necessary. A divorce lawyer can guide you through the process, ensuring that your interests are represented and that your settlement is fair and equitable. A divorce lawyer can also help you understand the legal implications of your divorce. This includes understanding the tax implications of your settlement and any other legal issues that may arise during the process. They can also provide you with valuable advice on how to protect your rights and ensure that your interests are protected throughout the process. Benefits of Hiring a Divorce Lawyer Hiring a divorce lawyer can provide you with a range of benefits during the divorce process. One of the most significant benefits is that they can help you navigate the legal system. Divorce proceedings can be complex and difficult to understand, and having a skilled lawyer by your side can help you make sense of the process and ensure that you follow the [...]
The Top Things to Consider Including in Your Prenuptial Agreement
Getting married is an exciting time in your life. It is important to consider the potential legal and financial implications of your union. That's where a prenuptial agreement comes in. While it may not be the most romantic aspect of wedding planning, a prenup can provide peace of mind and protect your assets in the event of a divorce. This is even more important as 40% to 50% of marriages end in divorce. But what should you include in your prenuptial agreement? From property division and spousal support, to the logistics of selling the marital home in the event of a separation, there are several critical elements to consider. In this article, we'll explore the top things to include in your prenuptial agreement so you can feel confident and prepared for your future together. So, whether you're getting ready to tie the knot or just curious about prenups, read on to learn more! Understanding the Importance of a Prenuptial Agreement A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that outlines how assets and debts will be divided in the event of a divorce. It can also address other important issues, such as spousal support and alimony. While no one wants to think about the possibility of divorce, it's important to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. A prenup can help avoid costly legal battles down the road. One of the most significant benefits of a prenuptial agreement is that it can protect assets that were acquired before the marriage. For example, if you own a home or have a significant amount of savings, a prenup can ensure that you maintain control over those assets in the event of a divorce. Without a prenup, those assets could be subject to division according to certain state laws. Another important consideration is that a prenup can help avoid conflicts that may arise in the event of a divorce. By setting clear expectations upfront, both parties can feel more secure and confident in their financial futures. A prenup can also help protect any children from a previous marriage by ensuring that their inheritance is preserved. What to Include in a Prenuptial Agreement When drafting a prenuptial agreement, it's important to consider all the relevant issues that may arise in the event of a divorce. In 2021, the divorce rate in the US stood at 2.5 per 1,000 people. Every situation is unique, there are some [...]