When your relationship falls apart, it is a very personal feeling of loss that only you can come to terms with in your own time. If you are not ready to share the news, then don’t unless of course, there are circumstances beyond your control that have accelerated the timeline for making your situation public.
If you have time on your side, slowly build up to the idea of telling a few trusted friends and/or family members. The fact is you need their emotional support now more than ever, and keeping your grief to yourself is not helping anyone. Your loved ones will want to be there for you– the longer you hide your pain, the worse they will feel later on that they were not there for you during the worst of it all.
There is a lot you can do behind the scenes, very subtle things that most won’t even notice. For example, take down old sappy posts on Twitter and Facebook and delete those lovey dovey photos on Instagram or other social media. Put away any of the daily reminders around the house of that person’s existence. Meanwhile, create your own space– redecorate, even if just by making a few minor changes, and start a new routine that is all yours. The point is to disengage from the past you had together, and to rebuild a life of your own.
The sooner you feel comfortable again in your own skin, the sooner you will be ready to start telling others what happened– and when doing so avoid TMI! Only share as much as you want, and only let people in on as much as is necessary. You will be amazed at how understanding most people will be, and let yourself accept their kind gestures– it is like a soothing balm for your soul, which will heal in time.
If you didn’t do anything wrong, then you really have nothing to fear by letting the cat out of the bag. Once you do, you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted from you, and hopefully others a bit more detached from the situation will help you gain insight into what went wrong and show you all the reasons you are in a better place today.
I know it is easier said than done, but take deep breaths and be grateful each day for what you have. You need to find peace, and in order to do so you must learn to let go of the resentments you’re holding onto. The point is to move forward, so stop looking in the rearview mirror and harboring unnecessary secrets that are burdening you. There’s no need to protect someone that isn’t in your life anymore.
Let the truth set you free.
