As a child, I would detach from my reality by either pouring my heart and soul into being an athlete or delving into books. Until the age of 18, I was a hard-core gymnast competing around the country, and from ages 14-25 I focused on my studies at some of the nation’s top schools to become a lawyer. Along the way, I traveled through Europe, including extended stays while studying in Paris and Madrid. Each time I moved, I had to leave wonderful people behind, and as the years went by I perfected my ability to detach, and this has served me well professionally given that most of my clients only require my assistance for 12-18 months.
As a divorce lawyer, I get to know the most initmate details of people’s lives, and I help them through a very difficult time, then they move on and I go onto my next case. At work, I am like a surgeon, performing an amputation without any anesthesia. It is not an easy job, and by the end of the week, I definitely need to take a break from all the sadness. On the weekends, I need to fill my heart and mind with all the great stories about my friends’ engagements, upcoming weddings, baby developments, accomplishments at work or home improvements. I want to watch movies, read books and go see plays that inspire people. I love to plan trips and fun events to look forward to, and more than anything I relish in bonding time with my family and friends. Maintaining a balance between my two worlds (professional versus personal) is what helps me keep things in perspective.
Just so the rest of you are clear on my view with respect to this blog, I am going to set out some disclaimers: 1) As a divorce lawyer in DC for over a decade, I have learned alot about relationships, but I am not about to discuss my cases or reveal client confidences on this blog; 2) I am not here to provide legal advice, if you need legal advice go hire a lawyer; 3) I am not a psychologist, although I work with plenty in my field and attend a lot of seminars on psychology; 4) If you think I have all the answers, nothing could be further from the truth. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know; 5) I am not a saint; I am just as fallible as every other human out there; 6) I am not a very politically correct person, I call myself a “girl,” use the word “chick” a lot, and often refer to men as “boys” with very funny nicknames; and 7) I’d like to protect the privacy of my family, new and old, as much as possible, so I will not use any names or delve into their stories, just mine.
It has been great these past few weeks getting everyone’s feedback from the essays I have posted thus far. The calls and emails have been very encouraging, and I hope people will continue to send in requests on specific topics. Just remember, everyone’s perception of reality is tainted by their own experiences, and I have a very unique perspective that may or may not resonate with the rest of the world. I have my ideals in my head, yet my duty on a daily basis is to help others face the harsh realities of their love stories gone awry. Maybe this blog will help me reconcile the two.
