Long ago, before we all had mini computers attached to our hips, there was really only one way to instantly connect with someone you liked– you had to pick up the phone. A decade ago, no one had unlimited access to texts, emails FB or Twitter posts giving you this ridiculous false sense of connection with another human being. The art of seduction was actually slow, deliberate and incredibly cerebral, and those of us that still remember these days with great fondness will only be wowed by someone that can follow the Old School Ways.
While Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, emails and blogging all serve a purpose in my daily work life, let me be perfectly honest that in my personal life what I value is quality one-on-one time with someone. I don’t want a pen-pal relationship, what I want is a grown man that will pick up the phone so I can hear his voice, and then we can laugh together. A stupid “hey” text does nothing for me, other than show me that you are checking in, but what I really want is for you to make time and show up in person. If you care, then let’s have a real time conversation that brings me closer to you. If I wanted to date my iPhone, why wouldn’t I just turn on Siri?
Nothing in the world comes close to the affectionate gesture of holding hands while going for a walk. And if you really want to know what melts a GenX girl’s heart, it is listening to the sound of a person’s voice while taking in his scent, feeling his breath on you and seeing his eyes smile. To hear that man’s genuine laughter and feel butterflies flying around in your stomach while he makes you feel alive. There simply is NO app that will ever do this for you, and yet every week I hear people report that once they’ve met the right partner, these long lost feelings have returned even after age 50, 60 or 70.
When you find that person that makes your heart skip a beat, time seems to stand still, and somehow despite all the crazy logistics involved you find a way to see each other, make plans for the future, and dream together. You will find yourself waking up excited and smiling each day. The birds’ songs will seem sweeter and the flowers in your path will appear that much more vibrant. People will even tell you that you are glowing– and make no mistake about it, it is true that your aura will be a dead give-away to all that you are falling in love.
As great as this whole experience will be, I just have one tiny piece of advice: drink from the water fountain of love, not the fire hydrant. Go in baby steps so that you don’t crash and burn. Pace yourself in order to take it all in. Remember, this is NOT a race, and there is no need to sprint. If you need help slowing down, imagine that you are running a marathon with another, and to go the full distance you need to maintain a steady pace, and you have to go at the pace of the slowest runner.
A gentle soul will be patient, and he will hold your hand and let you feel safe as you slowly dip into the magical pool that makes you feel 16 once again. If you can’t remember what that was like, then maybe you need to do some homework- go revive that youthful part of you that still believes it is possible to love without limits. In the meantime, please try to unplug from the Matrix, and let yourself fall in love, the Old School Way.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.
