As lawyers, we are trained early on to stick to facts, memorize as much information as possible to support your case, and don’t let emotions get in the way. We are breed to win arguments, especially those of us that litigate. It is a gift, but it is also a curse.
At work, I need to help people detach from their emotions so they can make sound decisions. Off the clock, however, we need to remember that emotions are a normal part of being human, and we cannot just dismiss people’s feelings. Whether someone is expressing feelings that make sense to us or not, their emotions are quite real to them, and trying to minimize them might truly make the other person feel completely devalued or marginalized.
Believe it or not, emotions are not easy for me to process. It is a work in progress, but what I do realize is that if the true prize is winning someone’s love, then it really doesn’t matter whether I win every argument. In fact doing so probably works against me. In a relationship, we all want to be heard and feel validated. If the ultimate prize is lasting love, you need to learn to pick your battles. Easier said than done for some of us, but it is totally worth the effort!
