In my professional life, I am not allowed to share my client’s information with others. Maintaining attorney-client privilege is a cardinal rule. In my personal life, however, I am of the belief that sooner or later the truth will come out, and I would prefer to just say it up front so there are no surprises later on. But not everyone is this way, and most of my non-lawyer friends are quite comfortable talking about work, politics, current events– anything but themselves. It makes sense when you are slowly developing a friendship, and you can build trust over time– but what about in a dating situation?
There seems to be a bit of a chicken and egg problem– when do you really open up? Once you are in love? Well that seems silly, because how can you really fall in love until someone has truly opened up? Finding an appropriate balance with respect to sharing information is hard work, but if it feels like you are hiding a material fact, then I think it is clear that needs to be shared right away. Furthermore, you want to make sure the level at which you are both sharing information is somewhat equal– if one person is sharing everything, and the other one is keeping the conversation at a light and fluffy level, this should be setting off some red or yellow flags for both parties.
In the end, the rate at which a couple will share information depends entirely on the two personalities involved– some move super fast, others go at a glacier’s pace. Some say things move faster when you are older because you have a clearer sense of what you want and can’t stand. That said, the more you have been burned, the more likely you might be to cautious going forward. There is no magic formula for any of this, you just need to find the right balance for your own situation and enjoy the ride! It is the journey, not the destination, that makes it all worthwhile.
