Six years ago, I did the unexpected– I got divorced. Prior to that, for 32 years, I did everything I was expected to do: finished law school, got married, bought a house, a nice car, a Golden Retriever, and had a child. It seems like the perfect recipe for a happy ending, but I was miserable at home. My husband and I had drifted apart, and our different priorities could not be reconciled. So, we sold the house, I got rid of the Merc, and then the dog died. Now, I only see my son half the time, and I’ve remained single all these years, which begs the question for many: am I better off?
Well, I guess it depends on how you view things. While I sometimes miss the things I had, I do not miss the person I once was– I am a much better divorce lawyer because of what I have experienced– I have greater empathy and understanding for my clients, and I have gained better insight about myself by taking time to delve deep into the past instead of simply focusing on planning for the future.
The past few years, I rebuilt my life my way creating a law practice that promotes my view of helping families minimize the losses, and at home I finally found the courage to search for my father and establish new relationships with his side of my family. I also let my past experiences as a child guide the way I wanted to raise my son, by replicating the good and avoiding the bad, which included maintaining a decent relationship with his father so that he would not have the kind of experience I had as a child with an absent parent.
As for looking for Mr. Right, well that has become like a quest for finding a unicorn. But regardless of whether I ever find him, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned these past six years, and look forward to what lies ahead.
