Whether you’re thinking about getting married, married already, or dreaming about it, you’re bound to question your marriage or future coupling at some point. The questions may be specific or general, but either way the topic of marriage brings up all types of emotions, vulnerabilities, and curiosities. Many couples will be looking for signs that it will ultimately last, while others will be looking for red flags. There are conventional words of marriage wisdom that still make the rounds (relentlessly so), but there are also more subtle and interesting clues that predict your marriage won’t last.

I’ve been married for seven years now. My husband and I met in college and are now in the midst of raising young children. The transitions in those seven short years have been bananas. Our personal and professional schedules are chaotic. Life sometimes feels like a whirlwind.